The 3-Step Path to Enlightenment

Step 1: You begin the path in a state of hopeful, nay - exuberant, expectation. You do not know what opportunities the world holds, but you do know that you are willing to search for them (large quantities preferred at this preliminary stage). Your facial features, as a result, exhibit openness and naivete.

Step 2: Before you even realize it, you have transitioned to an altered state of being - you confidently place your elbow on the table (perhaps to stabilize you). Suddenly, new ways of thinking about everyday occurrences begin to present themselves. "Am I really where I want to be right now?" you ask yourself. Your face, while still open, is beginning to evidence a slight inward withdrawal - a slight imposed distance that you place between yourself and the world.

Step 3: The final stage - full and complete transition to "enlightenment." You need not look for the questions to life anymore - you have the answer. You rest your arm on your lap - for now you really on yourself for your own strength and support. Your trusty companion through life is in your hands, awaiting to perform its ministry of foam and suds. You view the world as you always knew you should view the world but had hitherto lacked the confidence, namely, with complete moral, intellectual and ontoligical superiority. The world has never been more yours for the taking.

Epilogue: At this point, you can to a variety of things. Apparently, this subject chose to wander into the center of a square, with his manifesto of enlightenment firmly grapsed in one hand, and his other hand outstretched in a gesture of invitation to those still in the clutches of sobriety.

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The doorway to this path is never locked. Knock and it shall be opened for you!