Why the encyclical keeps getting pushed back

The blogosphere has been buzzing about yet another rumored release date for Pope Benedict's first encyclical.

Well, I've penned a little message to help increase our chances of actually getting to see the encyclical sometime this year:

"Dear Italian Mass Media,

Please stop trying to steal the Pope's thunder. Sure, we all know you enjoy sponging off the world's interest in the Holy Father's doings (that is, after all, the primary reason anyone ever reads the Italian media). But seriously guys, enough false alarms should teach you a lesson: He doesn't want to fulfill your release date - he wants to (and is going to) fulfill his release date. We all know the routine: Everytime you fellas overhear a whispered conversation in a hallway of the Eternal City between the chief secretary of the vice-head of Vatican memo-dissemination and the assistant electrician-general of the Vatican library, you folks run to your hot presses shouting "Encyclical Subito!"

And the Pope doesn't like this.

Think about it: He is almost 80, he is only going to be Pope for so long (deo volente - a long while), he is only going to be able to release so many encyclicals. Now, do you really think he is going to wakeup tomorrow and read your little newspaper, glance at the article entitled "UbiDeus est Caritas?" and say to himself, "Hey, everyone says I need to release this ... golly, I better do it or else!"

No.

He's going to sit on his little treasure until all you little Italians go to bed crying because Jan. 25 has come and gone and there's still no encyclical. And that is
when he'll release it.

(As a personal aside, I remember by grandfather coming to visit me for my seventh birthday. Now, I was an observant kid. I knew that my grandfather was going to give me a present - so, like any seven year old, I pestered him. Did he smile and give me my present? No! He basked in the moment, stretching it as long as it could go. Then, when I was about to go to bed that night, I pulled back the bedcovers and found my present under them.)

(Okay, I lied about all that. But do you get the point?)

Look at it another way: Pope Benedict doesn't necessarily like being told what to do. After all - when the conclave elected him Pope, he had to say yes. But hey - *newsflash* - you guys aren't the Holy Spirit. So, he can say no. And he will, you watch. PapaRazi will have his thunder.

One last final ultimate point, Italian Mass Media. And that is this: if you keep doing your little game of oneupmanship – he might just end up releasing your beloved encyclical to the French media first. And no one can really say "Dieu est l'amour" with a straight face. So please - save us the hassle and wait quietly like the rest of us.

Sincerely,

- American Papist"

I think my letter will help. Don't you?

Oh, and by the way. This is a spoof - I don't have anything against the Italian media, per se. I'm Italian. We all have to earn our pasta. :-)