What do you do with the youngest bishop in America?

Apparently, you dress him up as Neo and have him talk about his vocation.

Alex Sample, the new bishop of the diocese of Marquette, at 45, is just a spring chicken by episcopal standards (and yes, that is him pictured left).

The current issue of "altared" (the diocesan newspaper for youth) isn't available, but the previous (and first ever) one has some highlights online here.

The *cough* teen-speaked-out introduction goes like this:

"Here’s the 4-1-1 on Altared: It’s like this thing, you know. It’s eavy and fun and deep, but not too deep (and maybe not too fun or heavy, but fun and heavy enough). Oh geez, I’m running out of room here. What’s up with this tiny little space? Anyway, old-school Catholics might not understand, and may not even like Altared. But that’s all good. Altared is not for anyone over 25 anyway. It’s for us. Sure, being Catholic alters our outlook and makes us counter-cultural. But it sure doesn’t mean we have to be grumpy or boring. Being Catholic rocks! So stay Altared! -- ZJ"

In other articles, deep philosophical questions are asked: "So, what makes a good song gojudgmentsdgements about people's views are made: "Scally [a music critic] is a bit whack."

(in fairness, I guess the stuff on "just war" theory is okay. It mentions Augustinian roots, etc.)

Here's my comment: I don't mind trying to talk to teens in language they can understand. That's great. But do we really have to revert to baby-babble to get their attention and be "cool"? It seems to me that they way to evangelize the youth is to show them how the "old-CatholicsCatholis are cool and do understand. I still agree with "ZJ": "being Catholic rocks!" But let's just be careful to give them the real reasons it rocks.

Update: I had a chance to read the latest issue of altared and my opinion remains the same, albeit a little more nuanced. In essence, the magazine tries to deliver decent content, but remains convinced that this content has to be packaged in a "contemporary" language and style in order for youth to find it interesting (I would argue this "contemporary" language comes off as artificial and forced - and that's a good thing, who really wants to be so expresionally impoverished?).

For instance, when describing unique liturgical and dress items that only a Bishop is allowed to use, they name the column "itza bling thing" and tell people to "Check out some of Bishop Sample's gear." Each item is described accurately, but then they feel they have to add some cute joke or jab at the end.

"Miter: The liturgical headdress used bya bishop as a sign of his office. It's constructed to life flat with two ribbons which hang from the back. In the Western church it is worn at all solemn functions. My mom never let me wear a hat in church, what's up with that?"

"Pectoral Cross: The pectoral cross is worn, suspended from a green cord itnertwined with gold threads. Has nothing to do with the packers."

The interview with Bishop Sample, however, is good. And I pray he is able to utilize his charismatic appearance, relative-youth and rigorous orthodoxy to work great things for the Catholic youth in the Marquette diocese.