Why shouldn't we all buy our pastors one of these for Christmas?

A cell-phone jammer, that is.

Okay, they are technically illegal in the U.S., but I'm sure we've all had the experience of being in Mass one day during, say, the Gospel reading and suddenly we receive an obnoxious jolt of Britney Spear's latest single screeching out of cell phone two rows back. And of course, it's usually burried deep inside some purse or hidden pocket and takes forever to silence.

It's horribly distracting, and also completely avoidable.

Some buildings, for instance, already block cell phone signals naturally (we've all experienced that). Why not make a provision in law to authorize churches to electronically accomplish the same thing?

Remember, somehow Church-goers managed to survive for thousands of years without the ability to be contacted by or instantly communicate with those not present at Mass.

And no - to anticipate the jocular comeback - I'm pretty certain that it's not God calling.