Pope Benedict attributes "supernatural qualities" to Pope John Paul II

The reporting from United Press International on Catholic topics sometimes feels like a mix between a comic book, the instruction manual to a computer game, and a celebrity tabloid.

I'm exaggerating a bit, of course, but see what you think:

"Speculation regarding the sainthood of the Pope John Paul II escalated Wednesday as Pope Benedict XVI attributed the late pontiff with "supernatural qualities."

I somehow doubt that the level of speculation has "escalated" the last 24 hours. It is good to hear, though, that John Paul II had "supernatural qualities." I hope one of them was X-ray vision.

Another quote:

Beatification is a phase on the way to full sainthood. Full sainthood requires evidence of a variety of theological qualifications, including evidence of miracles.

Yes, it's true: John Paul II is quickly on his way to reaching Full Sainthood. All saint-trainees begin at Level 1 Sainthood. St. Theresa of Avila was a Level 4 Saint. John Paul II is rumored to be at least a Level 5 Full Saint. Jesus was an unheard of Level 10 Full Divinity.

Okay, I think I've about run this joke into the ground. Besides, ANSA provided the reporting anyway.