Papist Picture of the Day - 3/31/08

[For today's blog topics, click here.]

"The once-famous Amazing Living Arm, after a long period of unemployment, finally gets hired as the pope's photographer-at-large."

[source: AP Photo/Plinio Lepri)]

Videos: Dioceses send welcome messages to Pope Benedict

The Diocese of Buffalo under Bishop Edward Kmiec welcomes the Holy Father:

I'd give it about a 4 out of 10. Very little on the sacramental life, very much on the inculturation.

Second, the Archdiocese of Chicago under Francis Cardinal George welcomes the pope:

This one gets a 7/10. Prayers for the Holy Father, and prayers for the success of his visit.

Did your diocese or organization create a video to welcome Pope Benedict? Send me a link!

Rocco: Shreveport, LA to get new bishop tomorrow morning, Mobile next?

update: Michael Duca of Dallas appointed to Shreveport, LA

The next best thing to the Vatican's bulletino:

This week's first US vacancy to fall comes tomorrow with the appointment of a new bishop for Louisana's diocese of Shreveport. The traditional warning shots have been firing off for some days now, with the latest sending word of the standard 10am press conference in the border diocese. (Whispers in the Loggia)

Shreveport has been without a bishop since December 2006, the second longest diocesan vacancy in the U.S. behind Little Rock, AR (May 2006). After this post has been filled, there will still be eight dioceses in the U.S. without a bishop, and eleven more dioceses whose bishop is serving past the mandatory retirement age of 75. (Source: CanonLaw.info).

Rocco says that more bishop apointments will come down the stretch in these next couple weeks:

.... as soon as [this] week, the Pope is expected to appoint a new archbishop of Mobile to succeed the venerable native son Oscar Lipscomb, the nation's longest-serving metropolitan, who reached the retirement age of 75 in September 2006. Multiple sources report that the nod will fall to the senior suffragan of the province, Bishop Thomas Rodi of Biloxi.

[More from the Sun Herald, citing Rocco]

New bishops as presents from the boss before he visits? Check.

Speaking of check, check back here tomorrow morning once we get the official announcement.

PA bishop cancels appearance after Catholic college announces Clinton rally

Another day, another Catholic college invites Hillary Clinton:

Hillary Clinton is going to hold a campaign rally at Mercyhurst College tomorrow, Tuesday, April 1, 2008. The Catholic College boasts of the pro-abortion Senator and Presidential candidate's appearance on its web page. LifeSiteNews.com has also learned that Erie Bishop Donald W. Trautman has cancelled his scheduled appearance at the upcoming Mercyhurst graduation ceremony in protest. (LifeSiteNews)

Here is the event page on the Mercyhurst College website.

What locals can do:

Tim Broderick of the pro-life group People for Life is urging "all pro-life people to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to be at Mercyhurst for a pro-life informational demonstration from 5:30 PM until 7:30 PM, Tuesday -- rain or shine." Broderick is urging pro-life individuals who are unable to attend to contact the university with their concerns.

Demonstrators are being asked to meet at the Parade Blvd. entrance to the Mercyhurst Campus. Broderick will be on hand with picket signs from 4 PM.

What we can do: LSN also provides the President's contact information "to politely express concerns".

Related: "Catholic Mercyhurst College Jeered for Hosting Pro-Abortion Hillary Clinton Rally"

Mercyhurst? More like "unmerciful hearse" if they let a pro-abortion politician campaign there.

Okay, that's histrionic of me to say, I realize, but why is it that the Catholic colleges with the best namesakes end up making some of the worst decisions, it always seems?

Vatican: "Report on John Paul II Sainthood Ready"

Talk about simultaneously one of the easiest and most difficult jobs to have - officially documenting the heroic virtues of Pope John Paul II for his canonization cause, which just took another significant step:

The church official spearheading the cause to make Pope John Paul II a saint said Monday he has finished a roughly 2,000-page draft of a report supporting the late pontiff's canonization.

Two days before the Vatican marks the third anniversary of John Paul's death, Monsignor Slawomir Oder told Vatican Radio that he has turned over the report to the Vatican's Congregation for the Causes of Saints.

The report summarizes and analyzes all the documentation about John Paul's life and virtues that had been gathered since his 2005 death, including testimony from witnesses and his own writings.

[More from the Associated Press.]

And I'm sure that 2,000 pages leaves plenty to explore in the footnotes!

update: DoubledayReligion has released a video of John Allen answering some related questions:

Hey, He Said It: "Whether it is lawful for Clerics to Kill Evildoers?"

Welcome to the first installment of an occasional series in which I selectively quote famous Catholic authors for entertainment or satirical purposes. Consider these the light version of Cliffsnotes.

"Whether it is Lawful for Clerics to Kill Evildoers" (ST II-II, Q. 64, art. 1), in which St. Thomas Aquinas presents both sides of the question and eventually determines that, no, sadly, they can't:

Objection #1: It would seem lawful for clerics to kill evil-doers.

Objection #2: Much more ... may clerics, who are God's ministers and have spiritual power, put evil-doers to death.

Objection #3: Now it belongs to the princely office to slay evildoers ... Therefore those clerics who are earthly princes may lawfully slay malefactors.

On the contrary: "It is written (1 Timothy 3:2-3): "It behooveth . . . a bishop to ... not [be] given to wine, no striker."

St. Thomas responds: It is unlawful for clerics to kill, for two reasons.

Reply to Objection #1: The Priests or Levites of the Old Testament were the ministers of the Old Law, which appointed corporal penalties, so that it was fitting for them to slay with their own hands.

Reply to Objection #2: The ministry of clerics is concerned with better things than corporal slayings ... and so it is not fitting for them to meddle with minor matters.

Reply to Objection #3: Ecclesiastical prelates accept the office of earthly princes ... [but] this may be carried into effect by others in virtue of their authority."

Hey, he said it!

Photo Caption Call - 3/30/08

[For today's blog topics, click here.]

Credit: Flickr user "chuckod"

Media: Vocations video from America's largest college seminary

St. John Vianney is the largest college seminary in the USA (150+ men). I have many friends studying there now. Some of the students and priests have just released a high-quality video introduction to "SJV":

Part 1:

Part 2:

Feel free to pass these vidoes along (with a tip to AmP, if you please).

More about the project: One of my friends tells me that it was put together over the course of this school year, to explain what a college seminary is and promote vocations, especially to men in highschool.

Commentary: Vatican admits Muslims more numerous than Catholics

The story:

Islam has overtaken Roman Catholicism as the biggest single religious denomination in the world, the Vatican said on Sunday.

Monsignor Vittorio Formenti, who compiled the Vatican's newly-released 2008 yearbook of statistics, said Muslims made up 19.2 percent of the world's population and Catholics 17.4 percent.

"For the first time in history we are no longer at the top: the Muslims have overtaken us," Formenti told Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano in an interview, saying the data referred to 2006.

He said that if all Christian groups were considered, including Orthodox churches, Anglicans and Protestants, then Christians made up 33 percent of the world's population -- or about 2 billion people.

The Vatican recently put the number of Catholics in the world at 1.13 billion people. It did not provide a figure for Muslims, generally estimated at around 1.3 billion.
Formenti said that while the number of Catholics as a proportion of the world's population was fairly stable, the percentage of Muslims was growing because of higher birth rates.

He said the data on Muslim populations had been compiled by individual countries and then released by the United Nations, adding the Vatican could only vouch for its own statistics.

A clarification (because you can make a catchy headline out of practically any set of statistics):

"Islam" should be taken as an umbrella term much like "Christianity." Islam does not have a central authority, and divisions of Islam are many. Islam is primarily divided into Sunnis (~940 million) and Shiites (~170 million).

Thus, It would be more accurate to compare "Islam" with "Christianity" and compare "Catholicism" with, say, the Sunni branch of Islam. In both these cases, Christianity and Catholicism remain more numerous than their respective counterparts.

Of course, this grammatical precision does not dismiss the demographic reality here: Muslims are having children at rates far exceeding Christians (and Jews, for that matter). It's a sad reality that of the three "Abrahamic Faiths", only Islam appears to fully live out God's promise of fertility.

Furthermore, this population shift is not just taking place in clearly identifiable areas. I remember being in Ireland one weekend in 2003, the first weekend that the number of people attending a Mosque exceeded the number of people attending Anglican services in the UK.

For any questions about world religions and demographics, Philip Jenkins is the scholar to read. I don't always agree with his ecclesiology, but his knowledge of the worldwide landscape is unparalleled, and especially the situation in Africa. His 2006 article for First Things, "Believing in the Global South" is a good place to start.

For those who are looking for a book-length treatment, one might read "The New Faces of Christianity: Believing the Bible in the Global South", "The Next Christendom: The Coming of Global Christianity" or "God's Continent: Christianity, Islam, and Europe's Religious Crisis" (in which he claims that the "Islamification" of Europe is being over-dramatized, but Richard John Neuhaus disagrees).

I think that sufficies for a reading list.

Oh, and having Christian babies would help matters as well.

update: more commentary from Monsignor Vittorio Formenti (who compiled the statistics):

Formenti said the information on Muslim numbers had been released by the United Nations, while the Vatican's data on Catholics was based on questionnaires sent out to dioceses worldwide.

"Latin America remains the stronghold for Catholicism, while the American continent as a whole has 49.8% of the world's total," he said.

Formenti said that the number of Catholic priests was on the rebound, particularly in Asia, "where there are few Catholics, but they are driven by great spirit".

He described Africa as a "grand resource" for the church, while Europe and North America were struggling. The number of nuns was undergoing a "drastic reduction".
As for the enrolment of seminarians, Guadalajara in Mexico had the largest number, with two seminaries "packed full".

France, the Netherlands and Belgium were bottom of the league, while Italy was seeing a "small, very small reprise". (source: Rome office of UK Guardian.)

Report: Pope Benedict will attend several "unofficial" events during U.S. visit

The source for this report is the Washington Times.

Take note:

Pope Benedict XVI has two schedules for his upcoming U.S. visit: A jampacked list of official events and an unofficial schedule of evening meetings, including a huge birthday party at the Italian Embassy starring world-famous tenor Placido Domingo.

Not a sure thing in this case, but maybe:

The splashy April 16 party — in celebration of the pope turning 81 — is sponsored by all eight former and current U.S. ambassadors to the Vatican. Several hundred people are invited.

The pope — who will meet that afternoon with U.S. Catholic bishops at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Northeast, is not expected to make the party's 6:30 p.m. kickoff time.

In fact, he's not even been officially invited, said Thomas P. Melady, ambassador to the Vatican from 1989 to 1993. But the papal nunciature on Massachusetts Avenue Northwest — where the pope will be spending the night — has been notified of the event in case he wishes to drop by. The embassy is on Whitehaven Street, within walking distance of the nunciature.

Talk about the best party in town:

"It's really not in his tradition to attend parties," explained Mr. Melady, now senior diplomat in residence at the World Institute of Politics. "His happiest days were when he was a young priest and teaching at the seminary."

But just in case, Mr. Domingo will be singing some of Benedict's favorite songs. He, along with mezzo-soprano Denyce Graves, will also be performing the following day during the Nationals Stadium Mass.

Several hundred people, including a wide range of local Catholics and Vice President Dick Cheney, have been invited. Many are hoping Benedict will show.

The closest thing to a confirmation:

[Raymond Flynn, ambassador to the Vatican during the Clinton administration] said there will be several off-the-record gatherings with the pope during his six days in the country.

That's the way it always is when the pope comes," he said. "There are private conversations and discussions with people here. I think they want to keep those meetings as private as they possibly can. They [the Vatican] will release an official schedule, but they'll leave a lot out."

Inquiries around the Catholic community seemed to bear this out. Robert George, a leading Catholic scholar at Princeton University, implied he'd be meeting privately with the pope in Washington but refused to divulge details.

The Rev. Dennis McManus, a consultant with the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, said Benedict has "a full evening at the nunciature" planned for him after an April 17 meeting with interfaith leaders at the John Paul II Center near the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. He also would not divulge details.

This report seems plausible to me, if for no other reason than it explains the long periods of "down time" scheduled into the pope's visit, where he only has one brief official appearance.

Nonetheless, we should keep in mind that Pope Benedict is turning 81 during his visit, and that he does not keep to the same extreme schedule of events that his predecessor, Pope John Paul II, would pull off during his early years as pontiff. I seem to remember Rocco Palmo saying in a recent TV interview that Pope Benedict has been ordered to take a three-hour nap/break each day of his visit.

Darn, now I have to figure a way to get an invite to these events as well.

Papal skateboard contest winning entry to be presented to pope

I posted about the "papal skateboard contest" earlier this week.

More from Associated Press:

One of the many gifts Pope Benedict will receive when he arrives in New York City next month will be a skateboard designed by a local child.

The Archdiocese of New York is holding a contest this spring to see who could design the best "Official Papal Skateboard" for the 80-year-old pontiff.

About 70 children entered the competition. A winner has yet to be picked.

The idea for the contest came from a youth skateboarding club at St. Elizabeth's Church in Manhattan.

The pope is expected to arrive in New York on April 18. Church authorities hope to give him the skateboard during a youth rally in Yonkers.

update: oh my gosh.

Pope Benedict in the USA - 16 days to go

Your exhaustive, frequently-updated weekend report:

"The tickets are coming! The tickets are coming!"

"The archdiocese [of Washington DC] is saying all those 45,000+ bar-coded Nationals Stadium tickets for the April 17 Mass have arrived and are now being sorted at their office. Parishes should be getting them sometime next week." - Washington Times

"The archdiocese has set up a wait list site. Gibbs said that so far they have received 1,000 requests at the site for 3,000 tickets."- Washington Post

It wouldn't hurt to put yourself on the wait list.

Concern about the Washington DC Papal Mass liturgy

"Brace yourself for the Pope's mass in DC, says Jeffrey Tucker (The new Liturgical Movement March 28, 2008), responding to the Washingtion Diocese' announcement regarding its selection of music ("Music for Pope Benedict XVI’s Mass at Nationals Park will reflect Archdiocese’s diversity"). Tucker prounounces the list --"it includes mostly Gospel numbers, some rock/blues thrown in ("Jesus is Here Right Now"), together with the "Mass of Creation" Sanctus and Amen" -- "as skimpy as it is troubling." - Benedict in America

"Operatic tenor Placido Domingo will perform at a Mass to be celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI at Nationals Park on April 17...Four choirs totaling 570 members from across the Archdiocese of Washington will perform at the Mass, singing in 10 languages." - Associated Press

Okay, I don't have a concern with Placido Domingo performing before the Mass, but he's certainly not the first person who comes to mind when I think of "the United States welcoming the Pope." More like, "The last of the three tenors reprises his frequent role at Vatian Christmas concerts." Please, let's move on.

"15-Year-Old To Participate In Papal Mass: Elizabeth, 15, of Montgomery County has been selected to be a gift bearer in the offertory procession when Pope Benedict comes to Washington and holds mass." - WJZ Baltimore, which includes video of the report

Lucky kid!

Media Offerings for the Papal Visit

SIRIUS Satellite Radio has announced that three Catholic channels will provide coverage for Pope Benedict XVI’s April visit to the United States. In addition to coverage from the Catholic Channel, one channel will rebroadcast highlights of the Pope’s trip while another will broadcast historical speeches from past pontiffs. - CNA

The Knights of Columbus will sponsor a nationally-broadcast television discussion program previewing Pope Benedict XVI's visit to the United States on Sunday, April 13. The show – entitled A Journey of Hope – features a panel of experts. The half hour show will air on CBS stations in the four largest U.S. markets and will also air nationally on the Fox Business Channel at 5:30 p.m. In addition, the program will air on a variety of Catholic television outlets, including EWTN, the Catholic Cable Network, and local and regional Catholic cable channels. - Rhode Island Catholic

Plenty of good offerings.

The Wider Context

"N.Y. bishop ready for pope's U.S. visit" - Monterey County Herald

"Public Less Likely to See Pope in DC: "His visit reflects the times we live in," said Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Washington. "There has to be a little higher level of security, unfortunately." - Associated Press

Nevertheless, the story describes the huge demand and desire to see the Pope, in person or through media.

The Pope's Press Treatment

"In preparation for Benedict's arrival, the discerning reader (or reporter) might want to understand WHY the Church teaches what it does...Observe the extent to which the author focuses on the grievances of "progressives" against the orthodox ("traditional") Church, with precious little attempt to understand and explain exactly WHY the Church takes the positions that it does." - Benedict in America

"The interview questions in this interview, from the Boston Globe, reads like every tired cliche that's ever been written about Pope Benedict and the Church. In its title, it describes Pope Benedict as a "more complex pope." It uses language- specifically "liberal" and "conservative" - which is not correct in explaining the Church. Not surprisingly, it also engages in the "WOCHA mantra." Thankfully, it's salvaged by the intelligent responses of Francesco Cesareo, president of Assumption College." - Pope2008

"If what you know of Pope Benedict XVI is the hard-line doctrinal decrees of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he may surprise you on his first visit to the United States next month. So says the Rev. Robert Sirico, who has met Benedict and seen his pastoral side closer than many." - MLive

Is the pope Catholic? That used to be a sarcastic way of saying, could anything be more obvious? Is fire hot? Is water wet? Now, however, that nothing in the world is obvious, when Pope Benedict XVI arrives in the United States on April 15 there will surely be voices in the media apparently disconcerted to discover that, yes, the pope is Catholic. - New York Times

The New York Times piece I found to be particularly illuminating. Consider the final lines:

Of course, part of the problem in getting a fix on Benedict is simply the feebleness of accepted categories for understanding any serious religious leaders — and hence the impulse to deal with them as celebrities or politicians. Of all the words he speaks during his trip here, the ones that will probably go least examined are no doubt the ones he treasures most, the words of the Mass.

But the pope is not just another spiritual guide or priest. He has enormous institutional powers and responsibilities. To what extent does Benedict conceive of his papacy as a work of prayer and teaching? To what extent does he conceive of it as a renewal of structures and institutions? How does he see those aspects interacting?

His trip to the United States will presumably provide some clues. But they will be missed if it is greeted and framed with all the ready-made reflexes.

For a prime example of someone completely missing what the pope is about, see this article in WaPo.

And that's where the news currently stands, with updates to follow over the course of the weekend....

update 1:

"'Popemobile to be used during N.Y. visit: A spokesman for the Archdiocese of New York said the pope will use the specially designed bulletproof vehicle to get around the city during his three-day stay, the New York Daily News reported. The itinerary of his public appearances includes a special mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral." - UPI

"Patrick Baker & Sons Inc., of Southington, is supplying candles, vestments and other items for the pope's Masses in New York. "It is an honor," said Michael Baker, a salesman at the business's 1650 West St. location. "It is a highlight in my career" to supply goods for the event." - Record-Journal

"New York Youth Prepare to Meet Pope: Youth in New York are preparing for Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to the United States in just over two weeks time. Twenty thousand young people from different parts of the country will hold a vigil in New York on the occasion of the Holy Father’s visit. Dominican Father Gabriel Gillen is a priest of the St. Catherine of Siena parish in New York City. He says that the Pope’s visit will draw even more young people into an authentic experience of God." - Vatican Radio

The Diocese of Buffalo, NY has posted a "Welcome Holy Father" video on YouTube.

update 2:

"Trivial Pursuit about Papal Travel in America: By way of background to Benedict XVI’s April 15-20 visit to the United States, the following are some “Trivial Pursuit”-style nuggets about papal travel in America." - John Allen

update 3:

"The pope gets a guide for his U.S. tour: When Pope Benedict XVI makes his first papal trip to the United States in April, he will be guided by a seasoned Vatican ambassador who sees the visit as an opportunity to introduce a little-known pope to a complex set of audiences: American Catholics, Americans in general and global opinion leaders.

"The image of Benedict XVI is not only not well known, but it is badly known," said Archbishop Pietro Sambi, who as apostolic nuncio is the Vatican's top diplomat in the United States." - International Herald Tribune

(some slight editing has been made to the original material above - thank you, sharp readers!)

Picture: Houston's New Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart

Houston's new Cathedral is first seeing the light of day:

A slideshow of 49 more pictures here. Whispers has thorough coverage. The $65m cathedral will be dedicated this Wednesday, with 60 bishops attending. This is the first "mother-church" dedicated since the "Taj Mahony" opened in 2002. Oakland's Christ the Light will be dedicated in late September 2008.

Article: "5 Reasons Muslims Convert"

From Christianity Today:

1. The lifestyle of Christians. Former Muslims cited the love that Christians exhibited in their relationships with non-Christians and their treatment of women as equals.
2. The power of God in answered prayers and healing. Experiences of God's supernatural work—especially important to folk Muslims who have a characteristic concern for power and blessings—increased after their conversions, according to the survey. Often dreams about Jesus were reported.
3. Dissatisfaction with the type of Islam they had experienced. Many expressed dissatisfaction with the Qur'an, emphasizing God's punishment over his love. Others cited Islamic militancy and the failure of Islamic law to transform society.
4. The spiritual truth in the Bible. Muslims are generally taught that the Torah, Psalms, and the Gospels are from God, but that they became corrupted. These Christian converts said, however, that the truth of God found in Scripture became compelling for them and key to their understanding of God's character.
5. Biblical teachings about the love of God. In the Qur'an, God's love is conditional, but God's love for all people was especially eye-opening for Muslims. These converts were moved by the love expressed through the life and teachings of Jesus. The next step for many Muslims was to become part of a fellowship of loving Christians.

A "sixth" reason that I often hear is the "Fatherhood of God". Islam teaches that Jesus Christ is not divine, and so God is not Father in relation to his Son. Subsequently, God cannot be said in any meaningful way to be our father, either. Knowing the paternal love of God the Father can help non-believers accept the revelation of God's Son.

Papist Picture of the Day - 3/28/08

[For today's blog topics, click here.]

"Pope Benedict appreciated the commemorative flip book of his Easter Mass."

[source: AP Photo/L'Osservatore Romano, HO]

Preparing for a papal visit isn't all cushioned seats and free samples

Barb Fraze describes the nightmares (literally) that CNS folks are having as they prepare for the papal visit.

I haven't quite reached that stage yet. Then again, there's always tonight.

Don't let the cool exterior of AmP fool you: behind the scenes there are (sometimes) frantic and (always) exciting preparations taking place. An update on those will hopefully get posted over the weekend.

Pope trip: Friday Mar 28 Roundup

Five of the freshest papal visit stories:

• Jeffrey Tucker takes an extended look at the Washington DC papal Mass at TNLM.
• US News & World Report publishes a lengthy treatment: "Pope Reaches Out to American Catholics"
• Christendom College gets a special mention in "Pope to Meet with Catholic Colleges and Universities"
• John Allan has a brief update on papal visit preparations as part of his Weekly Column.
• Reuters has published it's first report on the pope's upcoming speech to Catholic educators:

"Pope Benedict likely will walk a fine line between trampling on academic freedom and laying down the law on orthodoxy when he meets with top U.S. Catholic educators next month, experts and observers say."

Note the choice of violent images: "trampling" and "laying down the law". And while I agree with the author that it takes precision to accurately relate academic freedom to orthodoxy, it is not true that these two realities are as necessarily opposed to one another as this sentence makes out. This sort of mindset, indeed, is why we need the pope to explain how these two concepts actually support and harmonize with one another.

Report: Pope Benedict 'partial to buffalo mozzarella cheese'

Because you had to know:

Pope Benedict XVI is a big fan of buffalo mozzarella cheese, and eats it often reported Italian daily Il Messaggero on Friday.

Pope Benedict XVI reportedly likes simple dishes and often receives buffalo mozzarella cheese as a gift from bishops from the Campania region in southern Italy where the best buffalo mozzarella is produced.

The cheese is given to Benedict's policemen, who later 'discreetly' take the cheese to his apartment, Il Messaggero reported. (AKI)

A picture of the cheese in question:


The article continues:

Recently there have been fears the highly popular mozzarella cheese may have been contaminated by dioxins and other chemicals from illegally dumped toxic waste.

Japan and South Korea have in recent days halted imports of buffalo mozzarella, and there are fears other countries could suspend imports.

That part, sadly, is true.

The AKI story gets silly at this point:

In the supermarket located inside Vatican City, the dairy section is full of mozzarella cheese products from the southern region of Campania.

Reportedly, the cheese is prized among priests and nuns who visit the supermarket everyday to restock convents, institutes and monasteries.

Oh come on, it's cheese. There's nothing to "report" about priests and nuns "prizing" cheese. Normal folks like cheese, too. And it's no surprise that Italians ... like Italian cheese. For that matter, I doubt there is some huge cartel of Italian mafioso cheese merchants paying off "Benedict's policemen" to supply him with black market premium buffalo mozzarella shipments. Goodness.

I guess Il Messaggero - the original source for this "story" - was chagrined that they missed out on the much-touted "Pope Benedict likes Jewish Pizza" report that circulated recently. Their response? "Pope Benedict likes Italian cheese." Tomorrow's report? "Pope Benedict drinks orange juice!"

You watch, it'll happen.