Grieving for a baby "who will not be", the NYT tries to talk about miscarriage

The New York Times tries to talk about the grief of miscarriage, but finds itself struggling for words:

In the comments here last week, several of you asked about miscarriage: Why won’t people stop saying “you can try again soon”? What is the “right” amount of grief? Are there more miscarriages now or does it just seem that way? What to tell the children about the baby who will not be?

Is the grief really just caused by the baby "who will not be"?

I want to be clear: I don't in any way wish to be insensitive about the true grief of miscarriage. I wish to point out that much of this grief is exacerbated by our culture and the way it avoids acknowledging unborn life.