The Pope's Visit: Satirical and Serious commentary

On the funny side, today's article by the Onion (a satirical newspaper):

In an unprecedented breach of national security, Pope Benedict XVI, leader of the international organization known as "the Roman Catholic Church," has infiltrated the highest levels of the U.S. government and devised a wide-ranging plan to destroy the entire country.

... "We normally do not allow anyone to view top secret documents, but with the miter and the robe and everything, it was difficult to say no," said one Department of Energy official, who allowed Benedict to view plans for a proposed warhead delivery system, and detailed maps of the nation's nuclear power plants. "He said he wanted to bless the documents, which he did. Unfortunately, we now believe that the ring he wears is a miniaturized digital camera." (More)

On the substantive side, Donald Devine talks about the "Internationalist Pope":

Was Lou Dobbs right that “the pope is blasting our society; here he is, I guess, in many ways insulting our country, talking about the need to be welcoming, taking up the issue of illegal immigration without any comparison to the rest of the world?” Congressman Tom Tancredo criticized him too. Are conservatives right to be concerned about Benedict XVI’s “welcoming internationalism”?

... While he may have criticized the U.N.’s ruling body, it is clear Benedict thinks collective rather than nation-state action alone is necessary to promote a just world order. On the other hand, he also said that “Every State has the primary duty to protect its own population from grave and sustained violations of human rights, as well as from the consequences of humanitarian crises, whether natural or man-made.” So the nation-state comes first but “If States are unable to guarantee such protection, the international community must intervene with the juridical means provided in the United Nations Charter and in other international instruments.” (More)

There, hopefully that strikes a nice balance.

Video: Stephen Colbert interviews author Anne Lamott

Friday Funny - Stephen Colbert interviews bestselling-author Anne Lamott:



I've talked about Anne Lamott before here.

I've also read portions of her book Grace, Eventually (I was frittering away my time in a book store awhile back). It's a self-absorbed ramble that displays little basic theological or spiritual sense, and sadly reveals someone who has searched and suffered much, only to have learned little. And that's about all she can pass on.

I hope she does receive grace, eventually (she is already, of course, but I hope she comes to accept it fully). But I wouldn't recommend reading her book. Pray for her instead. That can win her grace, presently.

Papist Picture of the Day - 5/1/08

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For once, the Swiss guard wasn't the most colorful thing in St. Peter's Square.

[source: AP Photo/Plinio Lepri]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/26/08

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"Guardian of the Pontifical Fire Escape" sounds more glamorous than it is.

[source: REUTERS/Tony Gentile (VATICAN)]

"Bee Tornado" or Modern Day Eleventh Plague?

True story [with my bracketed comments for illustrative purposes]:

A giant cloud of thousands of bees mysteriously appeared and began to swirl in a "tornado pattern" around [an Egyptian-run] Central Florida Mexican restaurant [and brick manufacturer].

[Hebrew] Customers at Oxie's restaurant located near Highway 17-92 and Plymouth Avenue in [in Lower Egypt] said they noticed a cloud in the sky and thought it was raining. They then realized, the cloud was a swarm of bees.

"A lot of people said it was bees and ran to their cars [and chariots]," restaurant owner [and Pharaoh] Oxie Ochiana said. "It was scary. I was panicking. I didn't know what to do. [When one of my customers claimed his God was a jealous God, I totally didn't believe him.]"

Witnesses said the bees began to swirl like a tornado and menace customers Thursday [saying, "Let my people go!"].

"I looked and it was like a tornado of bees just all around our parking lot, swarming," said restaurant worker Marie Olson [whose Hebrew name is Zipporah].

A crowd formed at a distance to watch the cloud of bees [and praise the Lord with Timbrel and Harp]."

"It was crazy," Olson said. "I was shocked. I was surprised to see it. I don't know where they came from, so it was amazing to actually see them like that. It was awesome. [Our God is faithful to his promises!]"

I swear, the non-bracketed parts are completely original.

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/25/08

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Some claim the Orthodox are overzealous when picking saints.

[source: REUTERS/Mihai Barbu (ROMANIA)]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/24/08

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The separation of Church and State, ballpark-style.

[source: Mike Segar/Reuters]

Video: This week's "Catholic Colbert"

The latest "Catholic Colbert":

Frankly, not that funny. This is why he should interview me.

Stephen, I know you're watching. I am papist, and so can you.

Brazilian balloon priest missing at sea; feared apostasized, raptured

Well, the first part of this blog title is true:

Rescuers reached a cluster of brightly colored party balloons floating in the ocean off Brazil's coast Tuesday but did not find the Roman Catholic priest who had been using them in a bid to set a flight record.

Rev. Adelir Antonio di Carli remained missing after lifting off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday strapped to hundreds of helium-filled balloons.

He was also wearing a helmet, aluminum thermal flight suit, water proof coveralls and parachute and was seeking to break a record for the longest time in-flight with party balloons.

He planned to use the money raised in his attempt to break the 19-hour record to fund a "spiritual" rest-stop for truckers in Paranagua, home to Brazil's largest grain port. (AP)

*scratches head* Which bishop, exactly, approved this leave of absence?!

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/22/08

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The pope's eighth-inning call for a lavabo cleared the bench.

[source: Erin Siegal/Reuters]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/21/08

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Vice-President Cheney was disappointed when he was informed that he could not accompany the pope back to Rome. No, not even if he asks nicely.

[source: REUTERS/Mel Evans/Pool (UNITED STATES) ]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/19/08

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PopeBerry n., "A phone addictively used to take pictures of the pope."

(The same people normally have this image as their phone's wallpaper.)

[source: REUTERS/Mel Evans/Pool (UNITED STATES) ]

President Bush to Pope: "Awesome speech your Holiness"

This recorded comment from President Bush to Pope Benedict is quickly becoming the talk of the town:

When you hear it being talked about on the newsfloor of the BBC, it's gotta be news.

Oh, and by the way, my interview on BBC World News went very well tonight. They talked with me for almost 4 1/2 minutes, which is a good stretch in the television news world, for those who keep track of these things.

Photo Caption Call - 4/16/08

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[Credit: Max Rossi/Reuters]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/15/08

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This girl's response to the pope coming: "Like, wow!"

(I walk by this poster whenever I go to Mass at the National Shrine. There's always someone having their photo taken with it.)

[source: AFP/Tim Sloan]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/12/08

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The blessing of the cameras is a popular part of every papal appearance.

[source: AFP/Andreas Solaro]

Photo: Pope Benedict XV & Woodrow Wilson?

This post has compiled a picture of almost each pope who has met with a U.S. president.

Evidently, pictures of the first meeting in the 20th century - between President Woodrow Wilson and Pope Benedict XV in 1919 - are hard to come by. Looks like this is the best we can do for now:
Hehe. Thanks AmP reader David!

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/11/08

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It's easy to defend the existence of purgatory when you've been there.

[source: REUTERS/Jeff Snyder/Handout]

Friday chuckle: a case of "screamingly bad" Latin usage

Alternately titled, "why reporters shouldn't fake a knowledge of languages they can't spell."

Voice of America's Jeff Swicord drew an admittedly crummy assignment: reporting on the latest shenanigans put on by the "woman priest" crowd. But what should have been a routine serving of empty drivel went LOL funny when Swicord attributed to an Opus Dei priest the following comment on the maleness and the priesthood:

"'The church teaches that he [the priest] does this in what is called insomnia nomini Christa, that he does this in the name and the person of Jesus,' says [Fr. Arne] Panula. Jesus was male."

A priest acts "insomnia nomini Christa"? That is screamingly funny. It doesn't mean a thing, folks. The closest I can get is "lack of sleep to/for the name Christina".

More hilarious goofs and funnier commentary continued at In The Light of the Law.

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/10/08

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In a rare senior moment, Pope Benedict hopped out of the chair marked "For The Pope Only", before realizing his mistake.

[source: REUTERS/Max Rossi (VATICAN)]

Humor: Stephen Colbert on the Pope Coming to Town

Catholic Colbert:

Looks like Stephen [Colbert] is all set for the Pope’s visit to New York. He’s got quite a welcome package prepared, right down to a baby to be baptized (son of Colbert Report writer Peter Gwinn). Whether the pope accepts or declines the invitation, it could make for some great comedy bits in the days to come.

A little on the irreverent side at times. Colbert can do better.

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/8/08

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His calculations told him he would need more frequent flyer miles for a free trip to America. Christmas would be tight this year.

[source: AP Photo/Osservatore Romano, HO]

Papist Picture of the Day - 4/4/08

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"Pope Benedict's idea of Sunday Funnies."

[source: AP Photo/Osservatore Romano, HO]

Video: Laugh, then help a big Catholic family win $25k

From Marcel LeJeune of the MarySaggies blog:

Some friends who have a wonderful Catholic family of 9 kids, all home-schooled, are in the final 10 of a $25,000 college scholarship contest (and the parents are Aggie Catholics if you needed more incentive). They created a great video, but now need your votes to help them win. Go here to vote for them (yes, you have to fill out a short registration).

Hey, it's worth the time. If you're feeling industrious, consider blogging it or sending out an email!